London pediatrician Donald Winnicott coined the term "good-enough mother." A good-enough mother stands in contrast to a "perfect" mother. She provides a safe environment, connection, and ultimately, independence, to facilitate the child's development. A good-enough mother meets some, but not all, of her child's needs.
Can the good-enough theory apply to romantic partners as well?
"Good enough, rather than the fairy-tale model, which is a big disappointment, is a reasonable way to picture married life," says Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, WebMD's sex and relationship expert.
Katharine Parks of Chillicothe, Ohio, married John at 19 and has been happily wed for 32 years. She says the terminology is right on target. "In American society, we are always going for much more than we actually need. We're expecting too much from a relationship. I think realizing this is as 'good as it gets' and that life isn't 'once-upon-a-time' is important to building a life together."
Scott Haltzman, MD, a clinical assistant professor at Brown University's department of psychiatry and human behavior, says the issue of settling for a certain person or behavior in a relationship is one of the principles of happiness -- if you reframe it as "acceptance."
No comments:
Post a Comment